Acting on Beliefs

My last blog post was on the importance of beliefs. This one, that is to say this blog post, will be on acting on those beliefs.

Sometimes we say we believe something, but we're really not sure if we do. Now some of you may think that I'm referring to religious beliefs, and I could be, but it doesn't necessarily have to pertain to those beliefs exclusively. It could pertain to the hopes and dreams we have for our future. Or it might pertain to our job, or to our families. Often for many people these things are connected. I know for me they are.

So, we have different belief systems according to how we were raised and what we were taught. We, as human beings, say we have these beliefs. But in my opinion it's a lot more than saying we have these beliefs. Are we willing to act on them and show people that we really believe what we believe? Action, then, in my opinion is the key to success and happiness.

Now I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect at this principle. You wouldn't have to go very far to find that. However, I try and I find that when I try I am much happier than I would otherwise be. You may say, well that's all well and good Jacob—you don't have the same problems I do. While that is true, I have respect for your challenges and how daunting they may seem to you as an individual, but never forget—there is always someone worse off than you are. Perhaps you can help that individual, while at the same time finding the solution to your own problem. If you do so, you will receive an added measure of happiness and joy, even in the midst of your own problems.

I would challenge you to do this. I am challenging myself to do this. I have up-days and down-days as to how I perform at this. That being said, ever since I made the decision to make the best effort I possibly can make, to these ends, I have been a happier person. I also have been able to accomplish more to assist others in their challenges. I have not been able to accomplish this on my own. It has been due to the help of loving family and friends telling me that I can succeed even after I have made mistakes. It is because of their efforts that I can say I am who I am as a person. I am still not perfect, but then again, none of us are. If we were, we would not be here. So I would urge all of us to be less harsh on ourselves, more often than not, when we are not perfect or things do not turn out the way we plan. When it is not our fault, we must learn to take it in stride and we must learn to serve others. This, in my opinion, is what it means to live our beliefs.

I would invite you, again, to take this challenge, and see how it affects your day-to-day life. I guarantee you, if you give it your best effort, you will find happiness and joy and fulfillment in your lifetime. I know I have, and although challenges will come your way, you will find joy even in the midst of hardship.

Jacob Everette head

The Importance of Beliefs

This blog post will be on the importance of believing in something.

Let me start out the blog post by posing a question to you.

That question is: What can belief in something be? Or what can it mean for us as human beings?

Let me explain what I mean by using a few personal examples. I can remember watching my sisters play soccer. I can remember thinking, “What if I could do that? How would my life be different? What would I be doing?” Put quite simply, I was having a pity party. I believed that because I was incapable of participating in so many physical activities, it somehow meant I was less. This belief did not come from any other source but myself. Even today sometimes I still think that. It is an ongoing mental battle for me. Since that 10 year old boy wondered that, the 20 year old me is beginning to realize that it's not what other people think of you that matters. Rather, it is what you believe you can do in your

circumstance. It is who you believe you can be that really matters. I mean, lets face it. I will never be a World Cup player, but that doesn't make me any less important. I believe, now, that we all have our own unique challenges, but we also have our own unique gifts and abilities even if they are not always apparent. This may be hard to accept sometimes, but if we can all (myself included) manage to let go of self doubt, no matter the challenges, then we can find the strength to believe in ourselves. Another source of belief for me is that of my religion. I am LDS. Those religious beliefs that I hold have been a great strength to me throughout all my challenges. Now, I am aware that there are many different beliefs and religious ideals. If you don't subscribe to any religious denomination, perhaps you believe in some higher power. This can be an anchor to us and no matter your belief or circumstance, we can all agree on one thing: Life is hard. So if we can find something to believe in, this will help us find something to live for and thereby help us keep from having a pity party and see what we can do to help others on their way. Without my personal religious beliefs, I don't even want to think about where I would be. If you just so happen not to be sure what you believe, have patience with yourself and believe in yourself and you will find your way eventually. I invite you to take a challenge. The next time you're feeling sorry for yourself, think about what you can do for someone else. Often it is said that in the service of others, we can find the solutions to our own problems. I fervently believe this. I also know this is easier said than done, but if we do this we will be much happier and get much more joy out of life.

Jacob Head

The Importance of Compassion

The fourth principle is that of compassion.

What is compassion? Compassion means many things to me in my life. Let me give you a few examples. Love is shown to me on a daily basis by my family as they help me with my physical challenges. I need help bathing every morning. I still need help doing simple tasks, like my laundry. Sometimes, I even need help using public restrooms.

These tasks are not fun; in fact, they can be quite nasty for the people that help me. Yet my family members help with these tasks without complaint—without any expectation of reward or return to them in any way. My dad wakes up early most mornings so he can bathe me before he goes to work. When my dad is in a hurry, my loving mother will wash my hair in the sink, even over my vehement objections, I now know she does so out of love. My family helps me keep my dignity in my disability, which means a lot to me. They make sacrifices to help me be the best I can be.

Now, these are just examples from my own life, but an act of love can be something as simple as a smile. Or something as simple as a hello to someone that seems to be having a difficult day. Because it is truly, as has been said before by many, the simple acts of love and kindness that often go the furthest. I am thankful for the people who are willing to help me and assist me even when I don't deserve it, in these ways, because I have no idea where I would be without these people.

But I am also indeed thankful, that service doesn't have to be shown in some grandiose way like people do for me. If it was contingent on those grounds then I would be up a creek. I am not capable of bathing someone, or assisting them in those manners in which they assist me, but I am capable of, perhaps, delivering a smile to someone that really needs it, or offer advice to someone who may need advice on how to handle a situation. Nothing may ever come of these things, but then again, something might. We never know.

We can all show compassion in our own ways no matter our circumstance, no matter our beliefs. All we have to do is look for it and it will bring us peace and satisfaction that is almost indescribable. So, I would invite you to try and perform a simple act of service, whatever it may be. You might just make someone's day. It's a guarantee, your day will be at least a little bit better, if not a ton better. Now, I am not perfect at doing this, but we all have room to improve, I believe. So, I would invite you to take this challenge to serve.

Jacob Everett Head

Fun

The next principle is the principle of good wholesome fun. Fun can be many things. Fun can be experiences with the family, with friends, or even an activity on your own. You can read a book or garden alone. Gardening is NOT fun for me, but I hear some people enjoy it. Kudos to them.
Case in point: I just got back from a family reunion, which was fun for me. Whatever it is for you, it is my belief and my philosophy that we need time to get away from our cares. Even if its just for a little while, we need time to help us regenerate for the next battle in life that we face. While it may be something as simple as playing a prank on a friend(all in good fun of course), or it may be going out to eat somewhere fun, or in other words it can be something you wouldn't normally indulge in. For me this is Legos. This is my hobby and what I do for fun.
I believe this is a key principle to success and satisfaction in life for most people. If we can find what it is for us, no matter our circumstances, we will be much better off.
Jacob Head

The Road to Happiness

The second principle is that of happiness. What is happiness? Is happiness that new boat, or that brand new car, or that new job that you have been seeking? Is happiness your financial gain and security? Is happiness knowing that you are done with that test for school? These are a few of many things that people seek after in their lifetime. While these things are not inherently bad in and of themselves, these are the things that can add to happiness perhaps, but we don't absolutely need them. Happiness is a choice and having more stuff than your neighbor has is not happiness. Rather, it brings stress and perhaps even a little anger between you and your neighbor, or you and your family if we make that our priority. Rather, I have found that happiness can be found even in the midst of our greatest trials. I have already laid out somewhat the physical challenges that I face. As a consequence of those physical disabilities, I may not get as much joy out of boating or a new car. I mean heck, I don't care what kind of car I ride in as long as it gets me where I need to go, with what I need when I get there. If happiness for me was defined by the things I listed above, I would have a pretty stinky life. Rather, I would say happiness can be found in family and friends, and if you don't have the best family or friends happiness can be found in service, even in the midst of our greatest trials. Now, am I always perfect at this? No, but I think a positive attitude can help. Now many times, this is easier said than done. I would venture to say that that is the case for most of us. Now for some personal examples: Sometimes I feel stressed because I am not making as much visible progress towards school or a good job as maybe my sister and brothers. I have come to realize that although a little piece of paper called a degree would be nice, it is not absolutely essential. I have strong belief in a God who is loving and caring and cares about what I care about and is willing to help me if I am attempting to live according to what I have been taught, and what I know. Due to this belief I have found much happiness even in times that are very difficult. I believe that I am never alone, and I know that my religion and my beliefs bring happiness to me. some people may ask, "How can religion bring you happiness?" My answer: Service. When we genuinely want to help and serve others in their time of need, then material wealth, or lack of material wealth doesn't seem to matter as much. Or in other words, we shouldn't care how much money we make, although if we happen to be quite well off, then we can do good with the blessings god has given us. But money does not define who we are. You can give service no matter what your circumstance. I have the wonderful opportunity to go down to Ecuador with my father periodically. The first couple times I can remember that I thought I was going to be a benefit to them, but in all reality they have done and are doing infinitely more  for me than I could do for them. For I believe that God, through their sweet spirits has made a better person out of me. I say this because despite all they have been through, there's a happiness and a joy and a light in many of their eyes that may be to some, inexplicable. But I do believe I know why it is there. It is there because they know that their God cares for them and knows about their situation. Perhaps maybe for those that do not know or are doubting perhaps I had the opportunity and privilege and honor to be the messenger to those individuals to testify to them that God does love them. I now testify to you that God loves each and every one of us. He knows of each one of our challenges and trials and he will love us and take care of us forever, even in our darkest times when it may feel like a god or a supreme being or whatever you may believe is furthest away. That is when he is closest. This is happiness I have found. I hope this may help you.
Jacob Everett Head

Hard Work and Accepting Help

So, I said in my last post that I would identify four principles that I try and live by to have hope, or as the title of my blog implies, to help me Reach Anyway -Or more appropriately to help all of us reach anyway. I will identify each principle in an individual blog post.
The first principle is that of hard work. Now, I will admit that I have a long way to go at living this principle perfectly, because I, like most of us, don't associate hard work with FUN! Sometimes on my road to independence, it has been like pulling teeth for my parents to get me to do something for my own good. At times it still is. I consider myself quite fortunate that they haven't thrown me out of the house by my ear yet! (However, the jury is still out on that one) Back to serious matters, I would say that although I have had rough patches I have tried and succeeded in having an optimistic attitude in general. I think my parents would say the same despite my resistance to their well intention-ed efforts. It has taken very hard work, not only on the physical battlefields of my life, but on the mental battlefields. One of my challenges that is not so obvious to people, is that I suffer from clinical depression. Some people see it as a label if they admit that they need assistance in that way. Somehow they think it is their fault, or in other words, something they did. I believe in most cases it is either something that happened to them in their past, or simply a chemical imbalance as has been medically studied and proven. As such, this line of thought led me to believe for a time that I was worthless. This feeling of helplessness was most acute, I believe, during my final year of high school. Most of my friends were gone. I felt insecure as to my future. I felt bad because I was so physically dependent on the good will of others and I wasn't sure what to do. However, my dad, who is a physician, recognized the symptoms and said, "Well lets try and see if we can get this medically treated." I resisted, but for my dad's hard work he helped me although I didn't realize it at the time. He helped me win the mental battle that I had been fighting with for years. It is hard to accept help from many people, but if you struggle or know someone who struggles there is no shame in receiving help. It is not a sign of weakness.
Work comes in many different forms. Right now what I have to work with is my physical challenges. Now whatever your challenge is ask yourself is it reaching for that next step? Are you afraid to reach up and haul yourself up over that first step because there will just be another obstacle on the other side? If you are I completely understand. But work does pay off although you may not think so at the time. How does it pay off? Well, i'll give you a short example. If I had not worked through the coaxing or most of the time through the forcing me to do hard work, I would not be able to help you right here right now. And that is a satisfying result of the hard work I have done.
Jacob Everrette Head

What is Hope?

My purpose in publishing this blog, "Reaching Anyway," is to, hopefully, assist others through their challenges and through their trials. Let's face it, trials and problems come to everyone of us throughout our lives in one form or another. Some may seem, or may be, more severe than others. One of my own great challenges, for those that know me, is physical in nature. I am unable to walk because I have quadriplegic cerebral palsy. This is easily seen by everyone or, I should say, the effects of cerebral palsy are seen by everyone. Because of this, most people whom I encounter try to be, at the very least, understanding. But most of us, that is to say, most people do not struggle with something so obvious and so apparent. I would venture to say the vast majority of problems that people face are unseen by others. Perhaps it may be that your parents have divorced. Perhaps it may be that you grew up in a less than ideal home. Perhaps it may be academic in nature, that is to say you always struggled in school due to a range of factors that were almost completely or were completely out of your control. Perhaps it may be that you lost a parent or a spouse to death. There are countless other challenges that people face everyday. I have listed only a few. Those challenges are there for a reason. I have no doubt because they help us to grow and to understand who we are. At times it may seem that something that is happening to us is unfair. We may ask, "Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?" I myself have wondered this many times in my life about my own challenges. Why do I have what is commonly referred to as a physical disability? Why do people who do not know me have to look at me with strange, uncomfortable looks on their faces or talk to me as if I was four when I was ten, fifteen, and currently 20? My answer: I have learned that my so called, "disability" is in fact a blessing given to me by God to try and help other people. Now, am I always perfect in remembering that? No, my family could tell you that right off the bat. So, in summary, my hope with this blog is to show you how I have learned to use my "disability" as an ability. I will identify four principles I try to operate by to help people, even with my limitations. I hope you join me in this journey together.
Jacob Everett Head